MG are back! The now Chinese-owned company has started production of the new MG6 model at Longbridge. The car has been designed in the UK and will be assembled in Longbridge from Chinese manufactured parts.
The company claim that the combination of high quality Chinese parts, ground-breaking British design expertise and the proven industrious workforce at Longbridge will result in a car providing a unique experience for motorists.
MG's UK Marketing Director, Reginald Perrin, stated: “We aim to put the fun back into motoring. In these days of computerized control systems and factory sealed units we feel that cars have become too sanitized and boringly reliable. We aim to bring back the great British design innovations that MG are famous for. Motorists will be able to relive the halcyon days of their 20th Century counterparts.”
Mr. Perrin went on to describe some of the car's features: “The MG owner can look forward to spending every Sunday lovingly caring for his car. For instance, he will be able to adjust the ignition timing screw to his heart's content. This will produce either 'phut phut phut' or 'bleurrrrrrrr phut bang' sounds without ever being able to get the timing quite right. There will follow the obligatory adjustment of the tickover screw and the fun of choosing between having the engine die on you, or having it over-revving like a boy-racer on speed. This screw also allows the motorist to choose between having the engine stall when it is cold or stall when it is hot.”
“As if that's not enough, to add some excitement to your motoring, we'll be reintroducing the renowned MG carburettor float chamber. You will remember that this chamber resembles a small leaky toilet cistern and is strategically placed above the engine casing. Hobbyists will be pleased to learn that the float mechanism inside will also require frequent manual adjustment. Adjustment is made by careful, repeated bending of the weak metal plate which hinges the plastic float. If successful, this will allow you to choose between cutting off the fuel supply to the engine completely or having fuel pumped all over the hot engine casing whilst driving. Incidentally, whilst adjusting the float chamber, many owners also like to remove the injection needle and vigorously blow through it. This, however, has never had any effect whatsoever, and is done purely for therapeutic value and the taste of petrol.”
Mr. Perrin continued: “In true MG tradition we have located all high-maintenance parts in the most inaccessible areas to ensure owners will be able to boast blackened, gory knuckle-scrape scars to their non MG-owning friends. Each car also comes with a grease gun for easy maintenance of the 96 weekly greasing points. Last, but not least, each car will be provided with a Haynes-style workshop manual, specially written and produced in the People's Republic of China for MG.”
“Each car is sold with a 24-hour, no quibble warranty. If you find that our workforce have forgotten to assemble any part of your car, you may, within the warranty period but outside of any Union meeting or tea-break periods, return the car to Longbridge for completion. We estimate turnaround time to be less than three months for this service.”
“If the MG6 proves to be popular we have plans in place to start production of leaky BSA motorcycles that are guaranteed to have bits fall off them when you're hundreds of miles from home. For the real enthusiast,” added Mr. Perrin with a cheeky grin.