A leading dissident group has given a telephone interview announcing more acts of violence to upset the Northern Ireland Assembly process. These acts will be targetted "appropriately"
Within hours of the interview several children with ADHD went off in a co-ordinated pattern in a lesson, no-one was hurt but several teachers have taken early retirement. Later that day a coded warning was given to say that tops had been left off several bottles of milk in a dairy and these would go off in days
In a Belfast pub toilet, several men blew off at the same time, no group has yet claimed responsibility. Belfast wives have been asked to report any suspicious overnight farting and police have been deluged with calls
However it must be made clear that not everything is related. The Northern Ireland second minister denied that a husband who went off with that blousey blonde from number 46 is not related to terrorist activity and people should be clear in recoginsing and distinguishing these events