Norah Hepplethwaite, Honorary Harridan of the Inner Temple of the Hertfordshire Women's Institute, spoke enthusiastically for the motion. She railed "I'm heartily sick of grinding my way through poorly chopped strigs in bitter marmalade; of having to peel a scabby paper lid off my jar of pippy, runny jam, of hacking my way into a burnt fruit cake using an electric carving knife and a run up, and of chewing inexorably through a misshappen rubbery goat turd of a cookie.
You can buy all of these products perfectly economically in supermarkets, they lay on a bus to get you there, and all they're made by people actually paid to do so. I looked in ASDA before coming down here, and a pack of double choc-chip cookies was 36pence. 36 fucking pence! And they're crispy, crunchy, and all the same bloody size. Now, you tell me which of you slack-bladdered parsimonious old trouts can consistently make anything like that quality, for that cost, and I'll be trotting round to your stand at the cake sale.
As for you at it with the home brew, if I have to smile my way through another tot of your toxic weasel piss when Co-op are doing perfectly acceptable own brand Dry Sherry for £5.49 a litre I'll drop a gusset nugget here and now."
In closing her impassioned argument to a full conference Norah implored all delegates to vote for her motion, however, when votes were counted it was carried by just ten votes to three. The local Morrison's, however, reported a sudden run on Sherry, marmalade, chocolate biscuits and Tenna Lady products.