In retirement former president has began his war on terriers, sources close to George W. Bush have indicated today. "They are a threat to our very way of life, you're either with us or you're with the terriers." He told his wife, after next doors brown toy terriers, Osama (2) and Islam (4), defecated on his lawn.
"This provocative act cannot be tolerated. If the terriers had their way we'd all be walking around on four legs and pooping in our gardens. They want to impose their canine fundamentalist ideals on the US. These dogs hate freedom."
Bush is seeking a UN resolution to invade his neighbours house in an attempt to search for weapons of mass destruction. The dogs' owners, the Johnsons, were unavailable to comment. A spokesperson of the Terrier cell of Al-Qaeda has sent submitted a VHS tape to various international news outlets. Poor quality and hard to decipher it seems to suggest an escalation of the violent campaign against Mr. Bush, "Bark, bark! Death to the West!" says the extremist masked dog brandishing a squeaky toy RPG.
Bush's chances of a "coalition of the willing" seem miniscule. Many point to the recreation room in next door's basement. "Iraq had oil and the Johnsons have a pool-table and a dart board. Bush is just pursuing a selfish agenda to take it" said a senior UN diplomat.
Former British PM, Tony Blair, has came out in support of his ally and cites the special relationship between British and American dogs. " I believe the actions of these dogs have been unforgivable and immoral, I will stand behind Mr. Bush in any action he chooses to take. Be that calling the dog warden, a prolonged occupation or an airstrike on the extremist dogs." He also reiterated the threat the dogs posed to the UK, "We believe extremist dogs may have infiltrated Crufts and their fundamentalist views now predominate among dog shows all across Britain."
Bush ended on a positive note, promoting conciliation and peace, "I once said that I believe that human beings and fish can co-exist peacefully. I see no reason why dogs should be any different."