The Grand National, Britain's most famous horse race, is being criticised for the equine carnage into which it often denegrates. Thirty four horses have died as a direct result of the race since the turn of the millenium but new research reveals that this shouldn't be seen as a negative side to it.
'The horses actually enjoy falling over, breaking their leg and then getting shot for it', explained a tiny spokesman for the jockey club, who had completed the research.
'We interviewed every horse before all of the last five runs and not a single one had anything negative to say, furthermore all of those that were injured during the races were approached by members of the National-accident-helpline and all but one refused their services.'
A member of the public that attended yesterday's run was unsurprised by the findings, 'Hey, everyone likes to lick the odd battery, don't they?' he told our reporter, before pushing his wheelbarrow full of cash in the direction of the car park.
The debate does not stop there, public opinion is also swelling over the treatment of horses after they pass their 'race by' date, however when our reporter questioned one of the Grand National trainers he couldn't understand the issue,
'It Seems crazy to me, no one complains about the treatment of cows used for meat, they don't even get to run any races before someone shoots them in the bonce.'
On the back of this research the government are considering removing the ban on fox hunting, 'there's nothing quite like getting ripped to bits of an afternoon', laughed a pro-hunt lobbyist.
Rumours that fisherman are being urged to use electrified hooks 'just for a laugh' are, as yet, unfounded.