In what has been seen as the most profound U-turn in Christian thinking in months the General Synod of the Church of England have finally conceded that the Monty Python version of the gospel story is more likely the most accurate we have to date.
"We just didn't get it at first." chuckled Archbishop of York Rt Hon Dr Jim Sentance. "But now it's obvious, women being made to wear beards, a correct depiction of what the Romans have done for us and the ultimate choice 'Crucifixion or Freedom one cross each, it's all so clear at last."
But when asked what changes this will make to how the Church will now be run the Archbishop was less sure.
"You see although we at the Synod receive this new insight as divine revelation we are concerned that that the lay person may be easily confused. I mean some will want to follow the gourd whilst others will instead prefer to remove their sandals in the prescribed manner. It is important that this does not cause schisms especially has The Python(their names be praised) now requires us to use stoning especially with a very huge bolder for comic impact"
Not that everyone in the Church welcomes these latest pronouncements.
"It clearly states in the text," Martin Lawson final year of seminary told us, "that 'he's not the Messiah he's a naughty boy now piss off' I have watched the film nearly all the way through and I can say that without doubt that although comically inspired there is a sense albeit extremely subtle that it was all a big mistake and Brian didn't actually want to be seen as a Messiah."
But the Archbishop was dismissive. "This is exactly the sort of divisive thinking that totally undermines the central message of the 'Life of Brian' to always look on the bright side of life de dum de dum dedumdedumdedum. This young man is obviously not an individual whereas importantly we on the Synod are all individuals."
Out in the Parishes the average church goer seems unperturbed about the proposed changes to their Sunday communion.
Margaret William of leafy Beggers End Dorset told us. "I saw that film when it first came out. The only thing I can remember of it is Graham Chapman showing his willy to a crowd of people, and that naked welsh tart with small tits. Sounds like a great bases for a new religion to me."
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General Synod to accept 'Life of Brian' version as most accurate
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Steve Wilson
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