SAS poo bags, used to clear up evidence that member of the crack unit are in enemy territory, are to be launched as a commercial spin off aimed at dog owners and anyone else who has to clean up poo.
'Picking up turds off the ground, especially ones you didn't do yourself, is never going to be a glamourous job," says the SAS's commercial director Andy McNab, "but when you're carrying an SAS branded poo bag, people might see you in a different light."
Estate agent Phil Barry, a member of the local Territorial Army unit The Kings Own Property Valuation Corps, says being seen loading dogs eggs into an SAS bag has earned him instant respect. "The other the dog walkers at South Norwood recreation ground know I'm a man not to be messed with now. And it's all thanks to my SAS poo bag. I may pick up number twos, but I'm the number one in this part of Croydon North East."
But it's not just dog owners who have to hold their noses and wrap a plastic bag around a faecus. There are plenty others of poo pickers out there who need to upgrade their image. "Parents with young children, long distance runners and heavy drinkers will all, at some stage, have had to take a dump in a bush. But the shame of being a stool pigeon can be banished immediately if people see you putting your load into an SAS bag," says TV psychologist Linda Papadopoulos. "It could make you income brackets more attractive to ladies."
The SAS poo bag is more than just a massively marked up see through plastic repository. It's a personal statement, says McNab. "It's a look that says I've got my shit together, and I'm on a mission."