In a landmark about turn today, the Football Association today quashed Eric Cantona’s nine month ban from Premiership Football.
This followed an appeal from Mr Cantona’s lawyers based on the same defence used by the man he kicked .
In a court case currently being held at Kingston Crown Court, Matthew Simmons denied attacking the manager of the football team for 8-year olds last August. The court was told that Mr Simmons, 36, bore a grudge against Mr Cooper over the alleged exclusion of the defendant's son from his football team.
Mr Simmons, of Kynaston Avenue, Thornton Heath, south-west London, argued that he acted in self-defence and the confrontation with Mr Cooper was a "pre-emptive strike".
The Football Association stated that they were happy to have a legal precedent to enable them to overturn Cantona’s ban. “We, and the whole country, secretly applauded the highly skilled kung-fu style kick. The little shit on the receiving end deserved it and much more. Mr Simmonds has now fortunately turned his talents to making up ridiculous motivations for being a violent thug himself, which has played into Cantona’s hands”.
The ruling follows the latest decision to accept Wayne Rooney’s apology for swearing into a TV camera last weekend. “He has apologised to children and parents that may have been watching. We see no reason why he should consider that any other people might be offended by his behaviour. After all, anyone who likes football is obliged to use the work “fuck” at least twice in any sentence, in our opinion. Except when in court, obviously.”