Tory leader David Cameron has unveiled yet another secret weapon from his arsenal of the unknown in a bid to clinch the upcoming election battle. Flipping 'Broken Britain' on it's head and codenamed “Project Middle Finger”, it is thought that this new campaign weapon is likely to be more devastating than all previous secret weapons combined.
The future-prime-minister's campaign coordinator Quentin Gaybody is quoted as saying “We believe that Project Middle-Finger is likely to be one of David's smartest moves. We think it may be even more crippling to Brown's campaign than all previous secret weapons, such as Boris Johnson (codenamed 'Electoral Nuke') and Samantha Cameron's pregnancy announcement”.
It is thought that Cameron came up with the idea on a high-speed, armour car ride through one of the less salubrious areas of his constituency. “On driving at speed past some local ruffians, I waved to them. Instead of the traditional wave in reply, they extended the middle finger on one of their hands and thrust said hand towards me. I was later told that this means 'Sir, kindly remove yourself from our presence'” explained Cameron, who was quick to realise that this apparently well known hand gesture could be used with reckless abandon against Brown. It is believed that The Opposition front man is likely to unleash Project Middle Finger at the next Prime Minister's Questions. At any point where the current PM is speaking, Cameron will simply stand defiantly with his middle finger raised.
Eton graduate and keen hoody wearer, Murdoch Nelly, who has been assisting Cameron with his training for Project Middle-Finger commented that “DC has been working pretty hard on his technique and can flip the bird correctly almost every time now. I think it's time for Brown to feel it's withering effects”.
Labour supporter Wilson Alexander branded Project Middle-Finger as “Poor skills in debating” and “A pathetic attempt by Cameron to appear to be in touch with the youth of today. Gordon is much more down with the kids- he should still be able to secure their vote, especially with his proposed street-dancing routine”.
Cameron is not the first political leader to trademark an offensive hand gesture; Winston Churchill was regularly photographed giving a two-fingered salute to the British public in a reversal of the 'Peace' sign.
