Scientific studies, probably costing millions of pounds, have proven that if all cars move at the same speed on the motorway the traffic as a single entity will get to where it is heading faster than if the cars are all doing various speeds, both above and below the set speed of the first set of vehicles. Taking this research on board the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, is considering the introduction of immobility scooters to slow down the capital’s faster pedestrians.
The scooters, which will not go over three miles an hour - the average speed of a London pedestrian, will become compulsory for any person caught on any of the cities many congestion zone cameras persistently perambulating at over four miles an hour. A further measure, born out of this idea, would be the use of registration plates for pedestrians so that high velocity walkers can be easily identified and fitted with the scooters.
When questioned on how the measures would be funded Mr Johnson stated, ‘these scooters do not run on air, they are designed to run on petrol so the users will be paying for the measures whenever they fill them at the pumps. This will also help to make people think before they walk. Trying to get somewhere quickly by walking slightly faster is a menace to a city in which time is money.’
However there are also fears as to the safety of these devices; as the aim is to maintain a set velocity the scooters have amazing acceleration, going from zero to three miles an hour in nanoseconds, some people are suggesting such velocities are dangerous to the health of the passenger and may lead to pavement pileups.
‘People will soon learn to hold on tight’, laughed the scooter manufacturer’s safety executive ‘there is no more danger in using one of our scooters than there is in continuing to walk faster than the pavements are designed to take’
If the idea comes to fruition fleets of scooters will be slowly making their way on the streets of London by April 2012.