Christies Auction House has confirmed that they have taken instructions from Libya’s Col. Gaddafi to sell his entire collection of ‘military-style uniforms’, many of which were bought in Carnaby Street in the Swinging Sixties. ‘The poor chap must be running out of gold nuggets to keep his Somali mercenaries happy,’ said Christies’ Head of Fancy Costume Sales, Montague Wherritt, ‘or he would never have dreamed of selling such a gorgeous lot of yesteryear fashion must-haves. This sale could raise millions.’
One item, said to be ‘virtually priceless’, is the famous gold and magenta ‘Colonel-in-Chief’s Uniform’ Gaddafi likes to wear for lunch on a Sunday. ‘The history of that particular suit is extremely well-documented,’ said Mr Wherritt, ‘as we ourselves sold it to him in 1981 on behalf of Yoko Ono.’ Sir Paul McCartney, who ‘just missed out’ in 1981, said he’d love to reclaim ‘rightful ownership’ of the original outfit, which had featured on the cover of the Sgt. Pepper album. ‘Now history will turn full circle,’ said Sir Paul.
Other clothing in the sale includes Gaddafi’s ‘Thursday’ suit, made from the swirling, orange and brown floral-patterned curtains which once draped the bay window of 23 Chestnut Avenue, Lewisham, where Gaddafi stayed in the early 1970s. ‘Left without paying his rent he did,’ said former landlady Edna Ford, ‘took me towels he did. Honest to God, I weren’t ‘alf bleedin’ livid when I seen him on the telly wearing me curtains.’
Gaddafi later issued a statement denying he had ‘recently rediscovered the Sgt. Pepper album’, did not ‘find solace in the idea of a Lonely Hearts Club’ and ‘never noticed' the line ‘It’s getting very near the end...’ in the final track. ‘Give me Lulu’s version of Twist and Shout any day of the week,’ he added, speaking through a translator, ‘and Joe Cocker’s cover of that other track I forget the name of... oh, what was it again? Oh yes, A Little Fucking Help from my So-Called Fucking Friends wouldn’t Go Amiss Once in a Fucking While. Now piss off the lot of you.’