Woman's Hour
Anyone catch this yesterday? Just the usual stuff about periods being a nuisance, and the embarrassing side-effects of poking a clove of garlic up your bum.
Really. I kid you not.
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 13:49 :: AdminComment / reply
I think we're ready
To take over Melvyn Bragg's Thursday morning R4 slot.
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 14:40 :: AdminComment / reply
I think I get it
Women think periods are a nuisance so they avoid them and that's why their sentences seem to go on forever merging into some blurred mix of femenist vitriol and inane ramblings interspersed with you don't listen why don't you like my mother and has anyone seen my handbag not that I'll be able to find anything in amongst all the detritus I carry around is this my wine oops excuse me I sneezed and a bit of wee came out.
Hope the rugger finishes on time tonight or I'll miss missing mastermind by listening to question time and didn't the ancient greeks stuff parsnips up their arses?
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 14:14 :: Comment / reply
A bit like
Nigel Lawson in other words.
Hello tonight on Front Row we meet the Liverpudlian poet who trailblazed arthouse in the 60's meet the man who's Sumatran knee-flute music is packing them in at the Roundhouse and I talk to Postman Pat about his new uniform and lifestyle change in 2010....................
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 14:29 :: AdminComment / reply
Nigel Lawson
Nigel Lawson
Nigel Lawson he's the chancellor of the exchequer isn't he though how he gets a word in edgways at cabinet with maggie rabbiting on I just don't know no wonder the whole worlds in such a bloody mess. Has anybody and I mean anybody any idea whatsoever where I left my tablets I'm really not sure whether I took one at elevenses.
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 14:41 :: Comment / reply
Whatever
his name is... Nigella's brother.
Dominic?
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 15:03 :: AdminComment / reply
ah I see
you mean Mark. For a moment there I thought we'd had a leak in the temporal fabric - I even reached for a box of tempons to stem the flow.
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 15:44 :: Comment / reply
I was crawling up the walls,
until I reached for a box of crampons.
Zadok :: Fri 9 Oct 15:55 :: Comment / reply
Fri 9 Oct 17:47
I was going to plant some dahlias until I realised they were Pompons
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 17:47 :: AdminComment / reply
How embarrassing?
I mean, embarrassing enough to stop doing it, just out of interest?
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 14:01 :: Comment / reply
Or were the side-effects considered embarrassing
by virtue of the garlic itself, or the situation you found yourself in during insertion? Cos I can live with the dicey breath, but bugger me, you don't half get some funny looks in the Sainsburys Quickscan queue...
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 14:23 :: Comment / reply
Mary
Surely you aren't shoving cloves of garlic up your bum in the queue at Sainsbury's? You won't even have paid for them.
PluckyMunky :: Fri 9 Oct 14:33 :: Comment / reply
She smuggled out a whole frozen chicken last week...
Heroic effort, really.
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 14:37 :: Comment / reply
Oh, that's what that tangy flavor was.
Thought it was barbecue sauce.
Rikkor :: Fri 9 Oct 19:27 :: Comment / reply
Just wait until Christmas...
PluckyMunky :: Fri 9 Oct 14:42 :: Comment / reply
So long as I don't get a rescan
I fail to see the problem.
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 14:41 :: Comment / reply
can you taste the difference?
Something really special, Smuggler's Garlic Chicken.
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 14:49 :: Comment / reply
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
STOP IT ALL OF YOU! I'm in an advanced state of hysteria and it's scaring the children...
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 15:00 :: Comment / reply
I did hear you walk a bit funny after you've been taken up the frozen foods aisle.
nealdoran :: Fri 9 Oct 15:12 :: Comment / reply
That's why I insist Mr Mary sticks to the finest produce aisle
And only then on special occasions
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 15:28 :: Comment / reply
Nice to see "Be Good To Yourself" being taken literally.
Zadok :: Fri 9 Oct 15:37 :: Comment / reply
He'll have to
It's not his birthday for another six weeks
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 15:42 :: Comment / reply
Isn't it lovely, how these days the supermarkets have girls to help you bag it up
Very thoughtful - I can never manage single-handed.
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 15:49 :: Comment / reply
So this is what goes on when I decide to spend the afternoon with my son.
Damn, I missed a load of funny stuff.
And the little blighter went off to play Lego with his friend too.
Jeni B :: Fri 9 Oct 16:28 :: Comment / reply
shhhhhhh everybody, she's back.
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 17:20 :: Comment / reply
You're not really believing the 'Lego' thing, are you?
What is he, nine, did you say?
He'll be down the precinct, sure as eggs. I'd get in the car right now.
allmyownstunts :: Fri 9 Oct 18:03 :: Comment / reply
OMG Stunts!!! That was scary....
....just spent the evening in the local Police Station hearing the young master's explanation after an "incident" this afternoon.
Actually, that's completely untrue. He's just arrived home complete with Lego.
Turns out boys do behave after all.
Jeni B :: Fri 9 Oct 20:47 :: Comment / reply
Takes "stuffing the chicken" to a whole new level...
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 14:43 :: Comment / reply
I feel like Chicken Tonight....
Waitrose in Godalming must be a riot
Oxbridge :: Fri 9 Oct 17:26 :: Comment / reply
They were inserted
as a cure for haemorrhoids, and flatulence was the side effect.
I think that's pretty high up on the embarrassment scale!!
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 14:22 :: AdminComment / reply
side effect my arse
so all these cloved up women suddenly stopped flatulating when they swapped garlic for preperation H it's not credible I'm going to test it out next time some one says ooh pardon me minister I'll ask her if she thinks god intended garlic to go up your bum and it reminds me of some chap I'd never met telling me a joke at a party before he'd even heard me speak "scotsmen are like haemeroids, if they come down and go back up they are ok but if they come down and stay down they are a pain in the back side" aye, is that right was my response.
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 14:32 :: Comment / reply
You really should see someone about those periods poppit...
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 14:42 :: Comment / reply
But girls don't suffer from either condition...
The most distasteful thing to trouble we ladies is a slight glow of perspiration when we're whisking egg-whites for a souffle, surely?
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 14:26 :: Comment / reply
Yes dear...
Sorry, couldn't resist
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 14:33 :: AdminComment / reply
Whisking egg-whites for a souffle?
Vince, if you mean "masturbation", then just say it: "masturbation". We're all adults here.
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 14:30 :: Comment / reply
Unless this is a new term for beating whites into a stiff peak
It is another unfamiliar process to me.
(btw Westwell, you utter plonker, I've just had to comfort both my fraggles, who were very distressed that 'Mummy's pooter made her cry'. And my laptop has received yet another high-pressure hosing. And that's not a euphemism either.)
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 14:40 :: Comment / reply
Sorry, fraggles.
You rock, by the way.
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 16:06 :: Comment / reply
Bugger
I've been doing it to cure my toothache.
It seems I have been misinformed.
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 14:24 :: Comment / reply
Is there such a thing
as an*s dentata. New one on me.
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 15:01 :: AdminComment / reply
Bit like Her Maj's 'Anus Horribilis' back in the 90s...
Zadok :: Fri 9 Oct 15:18 :: Comment / reply
Perhaps she should have tried a clove of garlic up it?
Mary Evans :: Fri 9 Oct 15:29 :: Comment / reply
My work here is done...
I planted the seed (or inserted the clove) and the rest just happens.
Great forum by the way. Sort of The Glass Bead Game meets Grub Street, with a bit of Mornington Crescent and arse-garlicking thrown in...
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 15:54 :: AdminComment / reply
Elephant and Castle
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 16:26 :: Comment / reply
Oxford Circus
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 16:32 :: AdminComment / reply
You fell into the trap!!!
Elephant and Castle to Oxford Circus. Such an easy mistake to make.
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 16:36 :: AdminComment / reply
You're new here?
We play Hapsburg convention, you are in knip matey.
Andhrimnir :: Fri 9 Oct 17:26 :: Comment / reply
Oh shite - not Hapsburg
I'm stuffed. A bit like a clove of garlic.
I was sure you'd follow Maastricht. I'll know next time.
In that case, your next move is...
Scroat :: Fri 9 Oct 17:57 :: AdminComment / reply
... opening all the windows
Honestly, you could have done this in summer, when the ventilation's better.
sauce :: Fri 9 Oct 18:06 :: Comment / reply
C---fosters
rickwestwell :: Fri 9 Oct 23:17 :: Comment / reply
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A trip down memory lane - remember this?
(2 posts) (2 voices)
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Scroat
offlineMemberPosted 3 years ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMemberAh - "whisking egg-whites for a souffle" - happy days...
Posted 3 years ago #
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