Scientists at the University of Sheffield have taught Deryck (a 14 year old, West African Common Chimpanzee) to recognise that the history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.
Scientists were originally concerned that the phenomenon was one of phrases being mindlessly repeated, without being understood. Their fears have been allayed after extensive consultation with sociologists and Labour Party whips.
Dr John Portland, a Senior Lecturer in Socio-biology, noted that “for months now, Deryck has displayed characteristics which suggest that he is fully conscious of the oppression of the proletariat. He waxes lyrical against every breath taken by police officers, he blames Thatcher when his football team looses, and he insists that the Labour Party is still a legitimate voice of the working class.”
In an exclusive interview the Chimpanzee revealed the source of his convictions: “my grandparents suffered unimaginably in the 80s at the hands of that Thatcher bitch... probably... in any case, I'll support Labour as long as they continue to make me feel like I'm loyal to my roots but, at the same time, not actually lowering my standard of living like real socialism would.”
“Also, the bourgeoisie has stripped of its halo every occupation hitherto honoured and looked up to with reverent awe. It has converted the physician, the lawyer, the priest, the poet, the man of science, into its paid wage labourers... whatever the fuck that means.”