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1. 

   Golgo13
   

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   I was hurtling along the autobahn this afternoon, listening to the radio, when I suddenly started paying attention to the verses of a song that was playing. The chorus was pretty standard "just you and me la la la " stuff, but the verses were downright awful.

   The DJ just said what a super recording it was, oblivious to the nightmare vision of a relationship the artist had delivered. But then the DJ was german.

   As much as my brain wanted to unhear what I had heard and vomit the data from my psyche, for you, dear reader, I forced myself to memorise strings of words so I could google them and show you the full horror, so that you could form your own judgement.

   Why could somebody write these words? Why could somebody sing them? How did I stop myself from crossing the central reservation into the welcoming embrace of death?

   Read these words, but be warned. You will feel like a stranger on your own planet.
   http://www.lyricsmania.com/you_and_me_in_my_pocket_lyrics_milow.html

   See here

   Posted 2 years ago #
2. 

   Gerontius
   

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   Bad and disturbing for sure Golgo....but the lyrics to the Adrian Gurvitz 'classic' CLASSIC is widely acknowledging amongst lyric watchers as the one to beat....and beat and beat and beat. I know....for I have that record in my vinyl collection and find it very hard to disagree.
   Come on then Biscuiteers...do you know of lyrics even worse than these offerings?

   Posted 2 years ago #
3. 

   rikkor
   

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   The title of the #1 song in America is "I'm Gonna F--k You Tonight". They play it on the radio as "I'm Gonna Love You Tonight". I've lived too long at a fairly young age.

   Posted 2 years ago #
4. 

   JayGee
   

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   Hi,

   Anti-nowhere league - So What.

   http://www.lyricstime.com/anti-nowhere-league-so-what-lyrics.html

   Posted 2 years ago #
5. 

   thisisall1word
   

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   Baby, It's cold outside

   http://www.christmas-lyrics.org/baby-its-cold-outside-lyrics-song.html

   Which is the Xmasy tune that's happy to say when a girl says no you can always try to get her drunk.

   Pretty sure that Frank Loesser could have found a rhyme for Rhohypnol if we'd have given him longer, and the date rape drug had been available in 44.

   Posted 2 years ago #
6. 

   Sinnick
   

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   My young sister bought Terry Jacks's "Seasons in the Sun". Apparently, most of the album was written just before his wife left him. Strange, that. According to Wiki, the single is an English adaptation of a French song "Le Moribond", and it's a dying protagonist's farewell to relatives and friends.

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd_Fdly3rX8

   The "B" side is the worst song I know - "Put the Bone in". Until the last few minutes, I thought it was about a dead dog, and not something naughty, but surprisingly it's about an encounter with a butcher.

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_pX1-IxRBY

   And he's Canadian (just to keep rikkor happy)

   Posted 2 years ago #
7. 

   bonjonelson
   

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   Closer by Nine Inch Nails

   It's an annoyingly catchy song too.

   Posted 2 years ago #
8. 

   be reasonable
   

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   "Nothing compares to yew" by Sinead O'Connor. All that guff about a piece of wood.

   Posted 2 years ago #
9. 

   thisisall1word
   

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   OK, please do not click on the link if you are not looking for offensive material;
   http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/misfits/lastcaress.html

   Bad wedding DJ for hire.

   Posted 2 years ago #
10. 

    Golgo13
    

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    Anti nowhere league and NIN (Head Like a Hole, anyone?)I like. I like.

    I quite like. I guess the mood of the song I was listening to was so peppy, but the verses just got progressively darker and controlling. And that it was on a mainstream pop station.

    Posted 2 years ago #
11. 

    Golgo13
    

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    @TIAOW.

    That is pretty bad.

    Wow.

    Posted 2 years ago #
12. 

    Golgo13
    

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    @TIAWO.

    You're right. Baby it's cold outside is also very dodgy, while maintaining mainstream respectability and airplay.

    That's what I was on about. Not full-on offensive. Just bubbling with wrongness.

    Posted 2 years ago #
13. 

    SingingHinny
    

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    I raise you all to the 'tune' of Neil Sedako and his touching homage to grooming children for sex. I worked in a restaurant which played this over and over and it never ceased to amaze/amuse me how inappropriate it was.

    Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen.

    Posted 2 years ago #
14. 

    Ironduke
    

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    I love 'Wonderful tonight' being played at weddings or as the late night disco slowie...couples shuffle romantically, girls look all swwony at the 'you look wonderful tonight', when Eric is actually singing 'hey love, lets go out, you look gorgeous, I'm going to have a few drinks, you're still really fit, oh, hang on, I'm shitfaced...drive me home love, there's a good girl'

    On the extended 12 inch version you can hear the extra 2 verses where its hey, gorgeous, find me a kebab shop' and 'I've been sick in your handbag'

    Posted 2 years ago #
15. 

    Oxbridge
    

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    Worst ever intro lines?

    "Darling/I'm feeling kinda lonesome/I'd call you on the phonesome..."

    And I'd nearly blotted the memory out...

    Posted 2 years ago #
16. 

    Oxbridge
    

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    'Wonderful Tonight' is actually him saying 'Bloody hell love, we're going to be late. Yes yes, you look fine, now COME ON'. Clapton was a stickler for punctuality and his wife's arsing about getting herself made up drove him around the bend.

    It's still a gloopy piece of shit, mind.

    Posted 2 years ago #
17. 

    simonjmr
    

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    I went to a wedding in Italy about 10 years ago, the Italian DJ thought it would be appropriate for the Bride and Groom to get up an dance to The Winner takes it all by Abba. So surreal a couple starting their married life dancing to a song about divorce

    Posted 2 years ago #
18. 

    ianslat
    

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    'I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer'.

    Struggling for rhymes for 'dancer' do you think?

    Posted 2 years ago #
19. 

    NewSuburbanDad
    

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    Not necessarily a terrible lyric, but can anyone ANYONE, tell me what a "suppertarsh wish" is? So many years of not knowing...

    Posted 2 years ago #
20. 

    thisisall1word
    

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    No idea what a suppertarsh wish is but that phrase is now going round and round my noggin to the tune of blankety blank.

    So thanks.

    Posted 2 years ago #
21. 

    simonjmr
    

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    Clair by Gilbert O'Sullivan is so wrong

    Clair, the moment I met you I swear
    I felt as if something somewhere
    Had happened to me
    Which I couldn't see

    And then
    The moment I met you again
    I knew in my heart we were friends
    It had to be so
    It couldn't be no

    But try as hard as I might do I don't know why
    You get to me in a way I can't describe
    Words mean so little when you look up and smile
    I don't care what people say,
    To me you're more than a child
    Oh! Clair, Clair

    Clair, if ever a moment so rare
    Was captured for all to compare
    That moment is you
    It's all that you do

    But why in spite of our age difference do I cry
    Each time I leave you I feel I could die
    Nothing means more to me than hearing you say
    I'm going to marry you
    Will you marry me Uncle Ray?
    Oh! Clair, Clair

    Clair, I've told you before
    Don't you dare
    Get back into bed
    Can't you see that it's late
    No you can't have a drink
    Oh! all right then but wait just a bit
    While I, in an effort to baby sit,
    Catch of my breath what there is left of it.
    You can be murder at this hour of the day
    But in the morning this hour
    Will seem a lifetime away
    Oh! Clair, Clair

    Posted 2 years ago #
22. 

    Zadok the second
    

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    Dear Mr N S bandad,

    Thank you for your enquiry. I think you'll find that the phrase is in fact 'succotash wish', if indeed the song you are referring to is Groove is in the Heart.

    Succotash is a culinary delight that seems to have passed me by, but I believe that a 'succotash wish' is an unlikely dream of luxury, experienced during the consuption of a cheap and menial stew.

    See also: You're not vicious. Or malicious. Just de-lovely. And delicious.

    Posted 2 years ago #
23. 

    NewSuburbanDad
    

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    At last! Next time this comes on it'll be pure dad-dancing, unalloyed by any semantic difficulties. Thanks!

    Posted 2 years ago #
24. 

    ronseal
    

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    What about the lyrics to Reggae for it Now?

    "She's a coochie coo girl,
    She's feeling fine
    She says she's got a ticket...
    [CRESCENDO]
    For the Circle... Line!"

    Posted 2 years ago #

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