Prostitutes, massage parlours and doggers say they'll start advertising in the Financial Times after the Sport Media Group, confirmed it was going into administration.
The company, which published the Daily and Sunday Sport titles, made the announcement after seeing sales plummet.
However, the whores and perverts who rely on the down-market soft porn papers to earn money or get their kicks, say their determined to keep its spirit alive by going up-market.
"We see this as an opportunity." Marcia Sutherland from the British Sluts Society told reporters at her massage parlour and brothel in Winchester.
"I think we've been complacent for too long and have been happy to pick up the rough trade garnered through advertising in the Sport. Now, with it's closure, we have the chance to earn more money, increase our prices and service a richer clientele by advertising in the FT. After all, going with the Pink One seems appropriate for what we do."
However, welfare groups say they've concerns for the topless models featured so heavily in the Sport titles.
"We fear that the young, mainly blonde girls the paper kept in a basement in London, just so they could be photographed, will now be unleashed on a world that they're totally unprepared for." Darren Harris from the charity Recovering Models said.
"That's why we're appealing for people to come forward and help adopt these young women and teach them everything they need to survive in the real world, including how to wear clothes."
It's understood that doggers have already turned to The Spectator as their organ of choice.
