Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Hi chums, I've got a headline that's been rattling around in my head for a few days. I think it has 'legs', but for the life of me I can't think what those 'legs' are.
Does anyone feel like collaborating? The headline is Moon on a stick 'achievable by 2015' says upbeat Cameron
It doesn't really work as a one-liner, but I still think it has potential.
Little help?
be reasonable
offlineMember
I can see where you're going, but likewise, can't see how to get there. 'Land of milk and honey' promises are always good targets, but I think it's hard to come up with something new about them. I'm sure others more talented than I will relish the chance to prove me wrong.
Good luck,
BR.
Anonymous
offlineUnregistered
G'morning jp, br.
That is a toughie, I'm stumped.
Zadok the second
offlineMember
I'll have a go if you like...?
Moon on a stick target will be met by 2015, insists Cameron
David Cameron’s flagship ‘Moon on a stick’ policy has moved closer to fruition with the successful completion of phase one.
“I am delighted to announce that the ‘Stick’ part of the plan is currently in its final stages, and will be unveiled early next month,” Mr Cameron announced yesterday. “Let that be a lesson to all those on the opposite side of the house who doubted this policy.”
The second, ‘Moon’ phase is expected to begin in 2012. It is being overseen by the newly-created Department for Innovation and Eccentricity, who have already begun a feasibility study into the two viable alternatives for attaching the moon to the stick.
“Basically, we can either launch the stick into orbit manually and hope that it reaches its intended target, which is the much cheaper option”, a spokeswoman for the department said yesterday, “or, which is more likely, we will be looking at a longer, more comprehensive programme of staggered moves to bring the moon closer to Britain.”
Oooh, very good idea, I like that.
How about something along the lines of:
“In response to a sarcastic remark from Ed Milliband at last week’s PMQs, Prime Minister David Cameron has pledged to deliver the moon on a stick within 5 years.”
Not really got time to have a crack at doing this properly right now but what about including something on public sector workers being saved from redundancy by being reassigned to the new MOS (Moon On a Stick) project, budgets being diverted from hospitals and the police and a request being made for people to get sick less and commit less crime over the coming years.
Then finish off with that American guy who claims to own the moon threatening a lawsuit for criminal damage if Dave puts a stick in ‘his’ moon.
Feel free to use or completely ignore any of that.
Gerontius
offlineMember
shouldn't that be David Camembert
and what if our Space Agency had argued against sending mice to the moon because if they escaped they could end up eating the moon...then where would our space programme be?
Could use a Pogo stick to get around in zero gravity
rickwestwell
offlineMember
I like Zadok's one very much. Maybe they could be persuaded that a longer stick is the answer, coupled with a plan to do the actual poking from the easternmost point of Britain, that being obviously the nearest point.
NewSuburbanDad
offlineMember
How about "rather than annoying scottish farmers by changing British summer time, the government announced the far more ambitious policy of controlling "night and day, the tides and the seasons" by manipulating the moon's orbit using a large stick connecting the celestial body directly to the pm's office"?
Etc etc
editor
offlineAdministrator
Hats off to all concerned - a great front page collaboratively written. Newsbiscuit at it's best!
You must log in to post.
