Amid concerns that politicians are too far removed from the feelings of voters, Labour leader Ed Milliband has moved to get back in touch with the ‘man in the street’ in an attempt to win support for his party without having to come up with any actual policies.
The leader of the opposition took time out from Westminster on Tuesday to spend the day in his constituency of Doncaster North and take the opportunity to meet and interact with some of his constituents in an informal environment, namely the Red Lion public house. After spending the afternoon downing pints of stella with the locals, peering past people playing on the quiz machine while shouting out answers and eating a traditional pub lunch of crisps and dry roasted peanuts it was time to get a good spot for the England vs Ghana friendly.
Pete Butler is a regular at the Red Lion and he was on hand to see the aspiring PM get fully behind the England team ‘Ed was just like one of the lads, he’d clearly already had a few ales as he was swaying on the spot but he was really into the match, he even joined in booing the Ghanaian national anthem for no reason other than that they were playing against us. And when he head-butted that bloke who asked him to mind his language I thought to myself “now there’s a politician that understands people like me, somebody I could support and even bother turning out to vote for at the next election”. I probably won’t though because this is a safe Labour seat anyway so he’ll win regardless and I might as well save myself the effort.’
After the game had finished Ed made his way to the Body Arts tattoo parlour where he had the name and date of birth of both of his sons tattooed tastefully on the side of his neck.
Having last been seen walking unsteadily in the direction of the taxi rank clutching a kebab and singing ‘IN-GER-LAND, IN-GER-LAND, IN-GER-LAND!’ at the top of his voice, Ed was unavailable for comment this morning. He was however rumoured to be poring over an expense claim form trying to work out how exactly he’d managed to spend £250 in one night and as yet oblivious to his new tattoo.