Blockbuster Remake of One Man and His Dog.
Purists Decry Cesar Millan Playing 'The Phil Drabble Part' In A Hollywood
(18 posts) (6 voices)
That'll do, Renzo.
I went to see a dog psychologist once, but he kept barking at me.
so I went to a horse whisperer but couldn't hear what he was saying. Sounded like "Nay".
I went to the doctor and said 'doctor, i'm eating like a horse' and he said 'take that nose bag off your face, I can't hear you'.
I said I feel like a pair of curtains, he said "pull yourelf together".
My Doctor's great; if you're at death's door, he's the man to pull you through.
( © Eric Morcombe).
And as I got into my car a chap said 'can you give me a lift?', I said
'you look great, there's blossom on the trees and the world is your oyster - go for it mate'-T Cooper I believe.
Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I've got a strawberry up my bum."
Doctor: "I'll give you some cream for that."
I went to the doctor. He said 'you've got a very serious illness'.
I said 'I want a second opinion'.
He said 'o.k, you're also ugly and you smell of cheese'.
Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside".
"Don't you start."
All of these are, I think, Tommy Cooper's as well.
A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entedre - so
he gave her one.
Man in restaurant asks the waiter 'What sort of soup of this'?
Waiter says 'It's bean soup sir'
Man says 'I don't care what it's been, what is it now'?
I said to the psychiatrist "I think I'm a dog". He said "Lie down on the couch" I said "I'm not allowed on the couch".
TC again I believe
Doctor, I keep dreaming that all these beautiful naked women are trying to jump on me and I keep pushing them away
- What do want me to do?
- I want you to break my arms
( © Tommy Cooper again)
Doctor I've come about my brother. He thinks he's an orange.
Well where is he?
In my pocket.
Vet: "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to put your dog down."
Owner: "Why's that?"
Vet: "Because he's really heavy."
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