Disney has announced that Katie Price will play Ms Marple in their new version of the classic stories.
A spokesman for Disney said: 'We are thrilled to have such a renown actress play such a well-known character. Ms Price has promised that she will introduce a couple of big innovations, so we're looking forward to seeing them, as we're sure they will go down big with the audience.'
We have obtained an advance script for the new version of The Body In The Library.
Detective: The body of a young woman has been found in the library, Ms Marple.
Ms M: What, Blockbuster, the video library?
D: Er, no, the library of books at Grantley Manor.
Ms M: Books... Oh yeh, someone wrote one for me once. It was my auto - auto - story about me. Is there a lot of my books there, then?
D: Perhaps you'd better come and see for yourself, Ms Marple, and use your amazing powers of deduction to work out who murdered her. And you might want to change out of your pink latex catsuit.
Ms M: Oh, alright. I'm just gonna finish watching Handsome Hunks In Trunks on the Airhead Channel. Then I gotta get me boobs out to do a glamour shoot for Saddo magazine, so I'll be over after that. 'ere, I gotta good idea - why don't you get the police to find out who murdered her? Mind you, the ones I met is all a bunch of tossers, scuse my French. All they're interested in is my boobs! Why's that then, when I'm a serious actress? 'ere, look, I'll get them out for you...