Victoria Pendleton triumphed at the world cycling championships at the weekend, coming first (in my heart, if not the scores. But so what!). And your reporter managed to catch up with her afterwards by taking a short cut as she tried to escape. Here's her exclusive interview.
JohnW: Well, I've fnially managed to catch you, Victoria!
VP: How did you get in? I've got an injunction out on you.
JW: Nice one! Anyway, the dog ate it. So congratulations on winning!
VP: Er, I didn't quite win...
JW: Of course you did! I know that some of the other competitors finished ahead of you, but what does that matter.
JW: So are you on course for the Olympics?
VP: Oh yes, I've got the photoshoots lined up, the sponsors organised, the interviews, guest spots on Question Time and Loose Women, the lot.
JW: Er - what about your cycling?
VP: I suppose I could bike it to Television Centre, though I usually take the tube.
JW: Good thinking! Um - could I make a suggestion?
VP: If it's like your last one, I'm calling the police.
JW: Ha ha, great sense of humour. No, it's to do with cycling.
VP: Oh yes, I remember that. Well?
JW: You know that race called the sprint?
JW: Well, I noticed that the 2 riders always start off very slowly.
JW: Well, I just thought - why don't you start off by going as fast as you can. So that when the other woman is still wobbling around going really slowly, you'll have won and be on your second photo opportunity before she crosses the line.
VP: I never thought of that! I'll try it next time, and if I win, I'll give you the best [here my handwriting becomes very shaky and unreadable].
More updates on the fabulous Victoria Pendleton soon!