World markets were sent reeling today with the news that rebel insurgents have seized the main condiments and clothing producing area of London, St James. In the latest move of what commentators are calling the 'Burberry revolution' crowds of angry dispossessed public sector workers have taken control of posh shops, halting all trade in kedgeree en croute and Aquascutum blazers.
As the spot market for venison leapt 10% overnight the ruling party's present leader, David Cameron, said 'I refuse to allow the world to be held to ransom by people who don't know the difference between a premier cru and cooking sherry'. Despite calls for support by the rebels, the president of the Arab League has commented 'we are all for the self-determination of the British people, but where am I going to buy my John Lobb bespoke loafers now?'.