New legislation on discrimination has caused unexpected work for artisans across Europe. Changes to legal definitions, affirmed this week by the European Court of Justice, mean that any creative work displayed or performed in EU member states must adhere to basic anti-discrimination principles and not include any potentially defamatory terms, images or references.
Art galleries EU-wide have been placing most of their surrealist works straight into storage. A great many paintings by famous Spaniard Pablo Picasso have been rescued by concerned art lovers and shipped out of EU jurisdiction to prevent "significant rework" at the hands of UK art students.
Much of the effort, however, has been focused on song lyrics, although the revisions are unlikely to be popular with music afficionados. "The whole track is just so less catchy now", said Who songwriting legend Pete Townshend regarding changes made to their well known track Pinball Wizard, "It wasn't discriminatory in the slightest 'cos I wrote it about an able-bodied bloke down the Kings Head who lost complete control of himself after a couple of beers but was an ace at the old arcade games once he'd had a few. Those bloody Brussels twats had to go sticking their noses in there without thinking about it and they've butchered my song - the lyric just doesn't scan any more. I'm not even sure what Bagetelle is."
None of the creative arts appear to have avoided the effects of the new law. "I reckon this drastic change in legislation has stopped my career in it's tracks," said popular satirical TV panelist and stand-up comedian Frankie Boyle.
Changes made to UK eurovision entry "That Sounds Good To Me" were initally blamed on the wording of the new law but a source close to the succesful 80's songwriting duo of Stock and Waterman said "They had no choice about rewriting it - everyone thought it was shit."