In a shock announcement, Barack Obama has admitted that he has sold the government funded institute NASA to the Irish budget airline RyanAir. The American President claims that the space institute was a drain on finances and just isn’t Irish enough. Next month will see the first RyanAir space mission to the international space station, now known as Paris International Airport. Critics have been appalled at the move. Non critics have not been appalled. American foreign secretary Hilary Clinton said that she was ‘over the moon about the sale. No really, I’m so over the moon – that was 1969. Nothing interesting has happened since then’.
Michael O’ Leary, the owner of RyanAir was delighted at his recent investment and promised to initiate a new space race. He has claimed that he will fly 5 Irish Acrobats to Mars before the end of the year. Asked why he was sending Acrobats instead of astronauts, he replied with ‘well, when I say Mars, I mean, err, Stansted, so we probably need acrobats more than astronauts’.
Moreover, there are rumours that RyanAir’s boss now regrets the deal after the details of the buyout were revealed. Barack Obama has reportedly sold NASA for 500 million dollars, but this only covers the abstract notion of NASA. Buildings and astronauts will be extra, while a surcharge will be added for each megabyte of data needed to complete the deal. It is believed that tax is not included in this price. On hearing this news, Mr O’ Leary telephoned his head office, screaming ‘County Donegal, we have a problem’.