A crack team of British disaster relief experts, the cream of the elite forces trusted to keep our roads, railways and airports working, is to be despatched to Japan - once the next set of back to back bank holidays is over.
Defending their decision not to get involved earlier, a spokesman explained that Japan had experienced the wrong kind of Tsunami. "Our elite continuity forces are used to deluges. They can clear inches of snow off a runway in a matter of weeks. But nobody could have predicted there would be these foreign weather conditions when we travelled abroad. You'd have to be some kind of genius to do that."