The iPhone became the latest piece of technology to trigger regime change yesterday as a 59p app caused the collapse of the entire British establishment, and war with America.
The incident started last week when an Oxford programmer launched "furry friend delivery mate", strapline: "receive your event invites from a cute animal postman". Whilst the app did not actually crash, the graphics were crude, and the "dog with a letter for you in its mouth" looked decidedly cat-like.
The app quickly fuelled a day of wrath amongst the British iPhone community. App store reviews ran from "Looks rubish v.poor y do apple allow this" to "DO NOT BY!!! WISH I COULD GET MY MONEY BACK!!!!" to "buying this app is the worst mistake I ever made in my life. EVER. Even worse than the voluntary amputation", but turned sinister when a dissatisfied punter simply typed "enuff is enuff. We march tonight".
'And the rest is history' said Commander Dave Bales, leader of the south London revolutionary front, from his base in Sutton High Street. 'We stormed parliament, dethroned the monarch, and sent an expeditionary force to Cupertino to demand our money back'.
The revolutionaries reassured the nation that they will restore democracy, including constitutional monarch if desired, "just as soon as Apple coughs up to the 37 people who bought this shit. And gives me and the brothers a bunch of iPad 2s as compensation." The rebels are also seeking guarantees apps will be vetted more carefully in the future. 'Tell Arnie to tell Jobs they'd better not do it again,' said Commander Bales. 'Otherwise, I'll be back.'
Meanwhile as the ex-Royal Navy steams towards Monterey Bay the programmer who started it all remains in hiding. 'Bloody hell, it was only the first release!' he said, from a bunker somewhere in the Cotswolds. 'Thank god I didn't charge £1.19. But seeing as they've gone over there can I have my money back for that panda yoga game? Now that really was a rip-off.'