A recording of Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding night will be available to view on popular adult website BrideBangers.com within hours of the happy couple fully consummating their marriage.
‘This is a great honour and an enormous responsibility,’ said website owner Marc Lebowski. ‘The royal wedding, and resultant bedroom action, means so much to millions of people all over the world - we have to capture every note and every nuance perfectly in grainy night-vision format and have the recording ready within minutes of the end of the ‘royal prerogative.’
Fans of the royal couple who do not wish to subscribe to the website (or its sister site angleseyswingers.com) will be pleased to know that footage of the evening of the 29 April will also be released in shops on DVD and Blu-Ray from 5 May. The special commemorative box set will feature deleted scenes, an alternate ending and expert commentary by adult star Jenna Jameson and BBC Royal Correspondent Nicholas Witchell .
An audio recording of the nocturnal ‘how’s one’s father’ will be released digitally through Decca Records to online retailers including iTunes. Decca, part of the Universal Music label, also released a recording of the wedding night of Charles and Diana, Prince and Princess of Wales in 1981 – the resultant three hours of light snoring and magazine reading spending two weeks at number one in the album chart when it was released.
Subsequent recordings of such aroused-state occasions proved less successful however, with the infamous ‘don’t just lie there woman!’ album by royal duo Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson only reaching number 55 in August 1986, while the Prince of Wales’ difficult second album recorded in 2005 failed to chart.
However with Royal Wedding mania at an all time high, insiders are hoping that this latest breakthrough into the digital age will be an instant hit. ‘Wills is quite a hunk and let’s face it, that Middleton girl is pretty easy on the eye,’ said one Duke, ‘so I’m sure I’m not the only one who’ll be renewing his subscription this year and logging on for the big event... just as soon as the missus has gone to bed.'