International pressure is mounting on the UN to set up a ‘no McFly zone’ in Libya and across the Middle East following Westlife’s recent announcement of a one-off gig in Dubai.
News of the banal Irish shit-horns’ concert is being seen by many Islamic observers as an act of international aggression and further proof of the West’s crusade of cultural imperialism. Western commentators have, however, dismissed the accusations, insisting there’s “…nothing cultural about it whatsoever”.
Following’s Libya’s plea, other countries have been quick to voice their own objections to the invasion of objectionable voices, with Iran planning to enforce their own ‘no Boyzone zone’ on the grounds that if you move the ‘e’ of ‘Boyzone’ back two places and turn it into an ‘i’ you get ‘Boyzion’.
The Iranian Interior Minister has personally called for Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell to be tried for crimes against humanity: “We have good intelligence that suggests they’ve been running training camps up and down the UK for some time; indoctrinating children and filling their heads with catchy hooks and unacceptable hairstyles.” He added “You know full well the Islamic world rejects your western life, and then you send us Westlife? Is this some sort of taking of the piss?”
This is not the first time boy bands have been deployed in an attempt to sow political unrest. Back in 1984 the US upset millions worldwide with New Kids On The Block, prompting Russia to escalate tensions by responding with New Kids On The Eastern-Bloc several months later. Thankfully, the formula for both strains was extremely weak and neither outbreak was serious.
Leaked plans to airdrop East 17 deep into Afghanistan have, meanwhile, elicited almost universal approval.