After claiming recent defence budget cuts 'in no way reduced our capability', Prime Minister David Cameron proudly announced the return of the Spitfire to frontline service.
'Of course we've commissioned an extensive modernisation programme, with our new Spitfires Mark XXV now all fitted with Digital DAB radios and modified to use LPG fuel- which I might say has dramatically reduced their carbon footprint'
'With craftsmen working night and day fitting a flight-deck to HMS Victory in time for her 're-launch' next week, I am pleased to announce that we remain at the cutting edge of modern military might, whilst the Victory's reliance on wind-power sustains our commitment to a more environmentally friendly defence capability'
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Spitfire celebrates 75th anniversary with return to front-line action over Libya
(15 posts) (9 voices)
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Posted 2 years ago #
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expansion on a previous one-liner, I know, and feedback welcomed.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I like it and think you should extend it further.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Other environmentally friendly measures have incorporated Iain Duncan Smith's proposal to make the long term unemployed “earn” their benefits has led to the Victory being fitted with a galley where the jobless are required to row whist being whipped. “It gives them a sense of self-worth and prevents them from spiralling into depression.”
Posted 2 years ago # -
Re: the Spitfire's LPG fuel
The budget cuts have meant the nectar points collected when buying the LPG fuel are essential.
Posted 2 years ago # -
"I like it and think you should extend it further"...
I bet you say that to all the girls. ☺Posted 2 years ago # -
Actually, thats what all the girls say to me, sadly! (all the girls- who am I kidding- the 'realistic lips' didn't extend to voice synthesising and I'm quite content that the pressure is set to suck, not blow.
Anyway, perhaps to further enhance our Defence forces Green credentials we could launch the Pedalo Torpedo Boat flotilla and RAF Hot Air Balloon tactical bomber squadron (able to strike at about 6hours notice on any hostile targets to the South West...hang, on, veering SouthSouthWest...oops, no, its gusted over Belgium- still, we've paid for the bombs now and its a shame to bring them back...
Posted 2 years ago # -
Seems to me like an FP in the offing. Have some environmentally friendly stars.
Tally-ho, and where's that Barnes-Wallace chappie when you need him?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Hell of a cover story he had to set up so he could be allowed to skim marbles along a water tank on firm time.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Hi Ironduke. You asked for some feedback so I hope this will be helpful. Generally to make the Front Page a submission needs to have between 300 and say 400 words. Your sub weighs in at 114 words which is rather a lot of additional work for whoever is the Editor that week.
Don't despair though. The NiB typically contains between 100 and 150 words, so your sub fits nicely within this bracket.
Unfortunately, I fear that your sub may be a little too close to "Newsbiscuit Oldie" written by some bounder last year.
Keep posting.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Shakespeare's editor suggested 28-line sonnets. But, they were paying by the word, so it all worked out.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I guess we're going to head more down the green military route then...
The military rucksacks could be replaced with bags for life.
(Which are a false economy by the way- bag for life lasts a lifetime so approximately 70-80 years? The plastic shopping bags last for about 10,000 years! Much better.)
Posted 2 years ago # -
"The plastic shopping bags last for about 10,000 years"... In my experience, they don't even last until you get to the bloody car!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Similarity there, definitely. Great minds... etc etc
Up you go you little rascal!
Posted 1 year ago # -
if plastic bags last for 10,000 years, isn't that kind of a good way of carbon sequestration. Take the oil, make it into plastic bags, bury them in landfill. Much better than burning the oil in cars, I think.
Posted 1 year ago #
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