The UN Security Council announced immediate plans today to enforce the no fly zone over Libyan air space by sending up a helicopter to patrol the skies containing several inhabitants of a small village situated on a busy commuter road in Staffordshire.
Residents of Stockley-under-field a village found on a accident prone section of the A5 have been armed with clipboards and biros in order to note down the details of any offenders in the no fly zone whilst subjecting the offending pilot to stern and disapproving looks by all as they fly past.
'We believe any offenders of the new restrictions placed on Libyan air space will think twice about doing it when they are confronted by the likes of Mrs.Joan Pollard of no.6 Damson Drive' explained UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon 'she made me feel awful when she caught me having a cheeky cigarette at the back of the main delegation hall yesterday afternoon' continued the red faced Moon 'if looks could kill, then that look she gave me would knock clean out of the sky any stray Mig that has unwisely crossed the same flight path of Mrs Pollard and her fellow busy bodies'.
Colonel Gaddafi has countered this action by issuing a letter to the UN complaining about the noise pollution caused by the helicopter 'the noise of that helicopter is bringing on my migraines' said the Colourful Dictator ' it wouldn't be so bad but since the upheaval caused by the skirmishes going on in my country my local supermarket hasn't been able to re-stock on paracemetol'.
One of the Stockley-under-field residents a Mr Trevor Benn was less than sympathetic to the Libyan leaders headaches 'that Gaddafi doesn't know what bloody headaches are' stormed the Stafforshire Pensioner 'if he had to live in a cottage right next to the A5 for the last twenty five bloody years listening to artics thundering passed all day and night, then he'll know what a bloody headache is'.
This attempt to prevent the Libyan President from bombing his own citizens has been criticised by some parties as ineffective 'apart from a visit by a local PC giving him a stern lecture in illegal aviation there is no further power to commit him to court or even to have points put on his licence' explained one of the residents 'if there was any justice in the world, Gaddafi and his air force shouldn't be allowed to fly anywhere never mind the no fly zone!' commented the aggrieved resident 'or failing that at least three points and a sixty pound fine'.