Jubilant news has reached us from disaster stricken Japan- they are currently topping the leadership of the ongoing 'Disaster World Cup'. The Disaster World Cup is a championship for countries stricken by damage and natural disaster. The current World Cup started im 2010, just after the Haiti Earthquake. Soon, other countried joined, including News Zealand with their hopeful, the Christchurch Earthquake, and Canada, with Justin Bieber. Recently, Japan took the lead, boasting two major disasters and a possible third yet to come.
The Japanese Emperor Akihito, in a rare press conference, told journalists- "We are delighted to be leading in the Disaster World Cup. We honestly thought we were down and out for disasters this year, but this Earthquake and the ensuing Tsunami have really propelled us past the other disaster stricken countries. We are also hoping that the impending nuclear disaster will put the trophy in the bag for Japan. I won't deny that we are confident in face of disaster, and we would like it to be known that we are ready to really kick some Haitian and Newzealander ass!"
It was rumoured that Britain would be able to qualify by entering ITV 1's 'Daybreak', claiming it to be one of the biggest disasters in Britain since the Blitz. However, entry was refused on the grounds that Adrian Chiles' face was likely to spook people.