Scottish police believe they are close to solving a string of petty crimes and anti-social behaviour in Dundee. The naughtiness is believed to have been perpetrated by a single man, now aged 60.
The suspect is described a short white man, wearing a distinctive red and black top and shorts and has spicy black hair. He is usually accompanied by a wild haired dog believed to be a Tripe Hound.
Often praying on softie targets, the menace has developed a cult status with an underground following thought to number over a million.
A spokesman for the Dundee police said that they take this sort of anti-social behaviour very seriously, emphasising that the repeated theft of strings of sausages cannot be tolerated.
The menace has been studied by police sociologists as his actions have not escalated as expected from a recidivist miscreant. Petty theft from butchers and sweet shops, minor vandalism and the use of a catapult normally are just the start. The lack of any evidence of drug misuse or serious violence has been put down to a possible, early, short-sharp-shock delivered by a large slipper.
Police are also working on a theory that the crimes may be linked to a con artist known as "The Dodger".
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Police close in on menace after 60 year rule of terror
(10 posts) (7 voices)
-
beau-jolly
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberPlease feel free to expand Ox. (Stars would be nice too, I'm feeling needy!)
Posted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberLizzy XXXXX I feel the sun has come out.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberNice to see our favourite son recognised!
*Dons pedant hat...* It would be Tayside Police, not Dundee Police, and John, no Ofsted report, it's a Scottish school, and Ofsted isn't applicable. *Removes pedant hat*
There is talk that at long last Gnasher may be subject to the new Dog ASBOs we've introduced here. Finally, Softies everywhere can walk the streets free from fear of having the seat of their shorts bitten off.
Have some of Dundee's finest Wallace's pies...I mean some stars.
Posted 2 years ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.