The government announced today that all social workers are to be sacked, and their function will be taken by television weather presenters.
'It makes complete sense,' said a spokesman. 'If you watch the weather reports, they're always telling you what to do. So if they forecast rain, they say "Make sure you take your umbrella with you and put on your mac and wellies when you go out." And when they forecast sun, it's "Make sure you put on your sun screen before you leave the house." And frost gets "You'd better put a cover on the car tonight, otherwise you'll be scraping the windscreen tomorrow morning."
'So we've decided they can tell everyone what to do, just like social workers do. And if the clients don't do as they're told, they'll get put in a care home.'
A spokesman for the television weather presenters said: "It's warming up, so you don't need that thick jumper on now, do you, dear.'
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Social workers to be replaced by television weather presenters.
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