1. Parking in a 'mother and toddler' space when your child is actually a BTEC student called Chantenay. And she's having a fag.
2. Yes, that is a tenth item on the counter. And you fucking know it, because you've half hidden it under the satsumas.
3. Stalking the man who's tagging the out-of-date produce to snatch the pork pie before its hit the shelf. Hope it gives you the shits.
4. You've got your goods on the check out, you're nearly at the till, you see the person next to you has some eggs. You want some eggs. Off you saunter, slow as you like, wandering up and down the aisles in a dopey daze...we'll just all wait, shall we? You take your time.
5. Like fuck did you use twelve of your own bags. And you at the till..how on earth are you letting him away with that? where's the justice? Where's the fairness? And HOW many schools vouchers did you just give the smug twat?
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Five Cardinal Supermarket Sins revealed
(51 posts) (22 voices)
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Ironduke
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
nilbymouse
offlineMemberI like this self help group...
The customer (woman) in front, who should know that once all is scanned and packed, some form of payment is required. This always seems to catch them by suprise - you've then got ages trying to find purse, then money, which card should I use?, hang on I've got a 20p off voucher - it must be here somewhere, no its in my bag, no my pocket, no it was in my FUCKING PURSE ALL ALONG!!!!! What's wrong with having your payment ready?
Rant over, I feel better already. Have some stars.
Posted 2 years ago # -
bonjonelson
offlineMemberArguing about why a coupon isn't accepted by the till when it's clearly because either it's expired or you haven't actually bothered to buy the product in question.
Not starting to put your items out on the conveyor until the last possible moment (what's all that about? It's happened to me twice)
Deciding you don't want that frozen chicken vindaloo any more and just dumping it on the toothpaste shelf to rot.
Grabbing a place in the checkout queue for your friend/wife/mother/whatever with one or two placeholder items, while you wait for the HUGE trolly to be wheeled in.
Being completely incapable of opening the plastic bags and making people wait in line while you struggle like a moron trying to get them open to pack your stuff. (actually, that's me. Sorry)
Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAll of the above are why I no longer do our family supermarket shop.
Mr B took over after it became apparent that he was likely to receive a visit from the local constabulary advising him that I had done a 'Bird'* in the local Asda.* This is NOT a euphemism for the smuggling of frozen poultry.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Ironduke
offlineMemberThe supervisor who arrives to have a chat with the checkout assistant about when their break should start, who they are covering, and which extra shift they need working, how their hair is looking, and what Brian at customer services said to Linda at the fish counter while I'M SODDING WAITING!!!!
By jiminy, this is cathartic!
Posted 2 years ago # -
theumpire
offlineMemberI'm a smoker (even after yesterday's brainwashing) not a gambler; why did some prat decide that the lottery swindles should be sold - and checked for winners - at the tobacco kiosk? As the stupid hopefuls choose which brightly coloured scratch card to waste their hard earned on, the resultant queue gets longer and longer. All I want is A PACKET OF FAGS!
Posted 2 years ago # -
be reasonable
offlineMemberIt doesn't matter how wide the supermarkets make their aisles, there will always be some enormously fat plebs waddling along at glacially slow speeds, blocking them completely for anyone who wants to move at normal speed; as for young mums with a baby or toddler in a push-chair the size of a fucking barge - death's too good for them.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Dickens or Shakespeare
offlineMemberBeing really tight with the plastic bags as if they were made from some very rare and precious material. Then the gossamer thin bag breaks as you transfer it from trolley to car boot and a 4 pint milk bottle bursts over your shoes as it hits the tarmac.
Posted 2 years ago # -
thisisall1word
offlineMember@Jeni B it's a euphemism for something much more exciting isn't it? maybe Mr B would be more interested if you were pulling women in a better class of supermarket - have you no Waitrose?
Putting 30 crates of coca cola into yr trolley - even though the special offer is clearly limited to 2 crates per shopper - then furiously arguing the toss with the check out person and refusing to concede, whilst holding up everyone else.
Posted 2 years ago # -
saltire
offlineMemberAn old topic but a worthy one.Agree with all the above.
Pensioners taking a trolley to buy a few light-weight items,leaning on the trolley and 'driving' it with their elbows because they're too lazy to stand upright.
Lard-buckets in mobility scooters buying BOGOF pizzas and chicken nuggets and asking you to reach in and grab them.
Middle class dads with kids on a Saturday phoning their wives to ask if £3.99 for porcini mushrooms is too much and is it the right brand...'ok I'll go to Waitrose then'
*Can't believe I didn't swear once during that*Posted 2 years ago # -
Abandoning your trolley sideways to block as much of the aisle as possible while you wander off to try to find something, completely oblivious to the fact that there are 17 people trying to get past.
Opening only as many checkouts as necessary to ensure that there is always a queue of at least 5 people at each one. Then announcing "code red, all managers to checkouts" so that they can feel important when they get there and open up the next checkout along to serve the guy who's just arrived behind you when you've already been waiting 15 minutes.
And I reckon the self serve checkouts are deliberately set up to test your patience. You scan your bag of potatoes, you place it in the bagging area, it tells you to place the item in the bagging area. So you lift it up to put it back down and it says "item removed from bagging area". How does it know? A second ago it was claiming that you hadn't put it in there in the first place. So then you put it back down but it's too late, the red light has already come on and you have to wait for the one staff member who looks after that area to decide they can be bothered to come over and help. But by the time they get there you've taken the bag of potatoes, smashed it through the fucking screen and left without your shopping.
I'm not welcome in my local tesco anymore...
Posted 2 years ago # -
be reasonable
offlineMember"The next person in the queue waiting - with their trolley - on [i]your side of the checkout - so when you have to pay they're right next to you, looking over your shoulder as you enter your pin. Breathe"... the last time that happened to me, I turned to the gent and asked "what's my PIN number?" He got the hint, and moved back.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Iamthestig
offlineMemberForgetting the shitty "bag for life" and instead gorging yourself by bagging each individual bread roll, tin of beans and carrots in seperate bags, just to piss off the ecomentalists.
Asking for a refund on the shitty "bag for life" as it broke when you tried to load paving slabs in it at B&Q the other day!
Posted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberCould be so much worse. We could be in America.
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9804&paged=5Posted 2 years ago # -
Sinnick
offlineMemberGreat thread this, and polite, too !
My 9-year old son pointed out that "Sainsbury's always say 'Try something new today' but they've always got the same rubbish".
Similar point to the very first, but I get really annoyed when some hideous Chav parks diagonally across 2 disabled parking spaces then looks to see if anyone is watching
Posted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberIf I really have to use a supermarket then I use Waitrose. Not because they have elegant and educated staff who appear to be interested and don't call me "Mate". Not for their range and quality. Not because you can overhear mothers saying "Oh look, Jocaster, they have the Javan coffee we like" rather than "Oy, Wayne! Get 'ere ya little fukka". I go there simply because they have a sign saying "5 items or fewer" rather than "5 items or less". I figure that any supermarket that can't be arsed to get the signs right probably doesn't give a toss about much else either.
(Actually I like the Co-op too but that is because they paid me lots of money in a previous life.)Posted 2 years ago # -
charlies_hat
offlineMemberOn the subject of Sainsbury and 'Try something new today' - how about trying ASDA?
Posted 2 years ago # -
thisisall1word
offlineMemberSince I hit 5 numbers on the lottery, Mrsall1word drags little Shanéqa out to Waitrose to shout at her and smack her next the frozen organic peas section. Our bad parenting has definitely gone upmarket.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Sinnick
offlineMember... and non-working mums unloading their full trolleys, 10 seconds per item, while phoning another mum who she saw only 20 minutes earlier doing the school run to gossip about such-and-such, and what a nice frock she was wearing, and must buy something for dinner tonight, and isn't the weather getting warmer, and oh didn't I tell you .....
Meanwhile, the checkout person is drumming the till a little too aggressively and the queue is getting longer and longer and more agitated, and I'm right at the end and all I wanted to buy was a totally unauthentic curry for lunch.
grrrrAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh.
No, I don't feel any better yet
Posted 2 years ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberNo issue with buying the "Sad bastard" meals for one, but curry for lunch! Oh, Sinnick.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Anonymous
offlineUnregisteredAnd don't buy that lovely looking clear Amber Pears Soap you had as a kid, if you can even see the microscopic print it says MADE IN INDIA. Eeuuughh
Posted 2 years ago # -
virtuallywill
offlineMemberSainsbury's are the worst for stupid shoppers.
Upper class twits with adams's apples the size of scotch eggs, all about 6'9" standing with jaw open at a row of corn flakes, what sort of choice do you have to make?. The men are worse.
Tescos staff, especially in the nicer area of town all think they are so special, wrinkled noses if you pay by cash... judgmental bastards.
Aldi: six tills, one open, 15 customers, you have a full trolley, "would you like a carrier?
Humph!
meh!Posted 2 years ago #
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