‘Dick Dastardly’ Style Traps to Spice Up F1
Bernie Ecclestone announced today new incentives to make Formula 1 more exciting for the viewing public. Teams will be encouraged to try and remove other vehicles from the race by setting up a number of elaborate and often ill conceived traps.
“The problem these days is that drivers and teams seem to be content with just winning the race” the F1 supremo said in a press statement. “What we need are drivers who are not simply going to win by being the fastest, but by making sure their competitors are not going to finish at all”
The proposed rule change will mean any car building up a substantial lead will be forced to stop somewhere on track to implement their trap in an attempt to take out their closest rivals. Other drivers will then have to use their skills and any defence mechanisms their car may have to avoid the trap.
“This obviously brings a number of technical challenges to the teams” McClaren team principal Martin Whitmarsh stated. “Getting the right balance between the complexity of the traps and any defence systems will be difficult. But compared with all the other technical rule changes, it probably won’t be too bad”
There has been a mixed reaction in the paddock amongst the drivers. Red Bull driver Mark Webber said “what this flaming galah Bernie fails to realise is we’ve just had the best F1 season for years and he is still trying to change the rules” However, Michael Schumacher has struggled to contain his excitement at the prospect and was spotted out on the Mercedes test track with a number of anvils, rockets and barrels of super sticky glue shortly after the announcement was made.