The Duke of Edinburgh's office announced today that his advanced age and precarious health precluded him from hatching a plan to put a stop to the international embarrassment known as the Duke of York. Prince Philip is wistfully quoted saying "the Princess Diana 'car crash' will have to stand as my best and most recent secret op. It's time for me to pass the lead-weighted baton on to a new generation of royal enforcers." In other Court news, the Princess Royal has departed for Pyongyang to attend a ballet recital and an intensive six-week course in counter insurgency tactics.
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Philip "just not up to" whacking Duke of York.
(14 posts) (10 voices)
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Posted 9 years ago #
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God help me rikkor, I think there's mileage in this one. Maybe it's the charlie sheen pumping through my system but I suddenly had hallucinations of the Duke of Edinburgh writing off to the Acme Co and then building fiendish traps to maim D of Y in a Wile E Coyote stylee - with York running around 'meeping'.
The onset of old age also means that making light-hearted racist remarks causes severe agony inducing for the Duke, who today was unable to even insult a group of Chinese primary school children from a Beijing deaf school who presented him with a papier-mâché corgi. Things may be so severe that it is now thought that there is little comedic milage to be had from sitting him next to the mother of the bride at the forthcoming royal wedding.
Posted 9 years ago # -
Five stars, and a royal seal of approval.
Posted 9 years ago # -
This is a great idea! I wish I had time to expand it a bit.
How about a "Philip coming out of retirement for one last job" angle?
Posted 9 years ago # -
I'd have a go, with permission, later in the week
Posted 9 years ago # -
I thought "whacking the Duke of York" was a masturbation euphemism...it is in our house, anyway!
Posted 9 years ago # -
A farewell tour would be good - Philip travels the world one last time delighting crowds with some of his greatest racist insults.
Posted 9 years ago # -
Go right ahead, Oxbridge. I'd be proud. You could expand it with the Queen not caring one way or another "now that those two goggle-eyed daughters of his are grown up, Beryl and Evian, or whatever there names are, the succession is more than assured."
Posted 9 years ago # -
5 stars
Posted 9 years ago # -
Excellent 5*. "Royal Nanny called out of retirement to deal with miscreant Duke".
Posted 9 years ago # -
And a further 5* from me.
You don't sub very often, but this is an absolute peach.Posted 9 years ago # -
Don't say you've sat on mi yorkie
Posted 9 years ago # -
I'm all choked up, and my ass hurts (Letters Patent edition).
Posted 9 years ago # -
la manage a trois,excuse my french.
Posted 9 years ago #
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