Astronomers have discovered that The Sky at Night, the longest running, single presenter programme in television history was actually cancelled in a parallel universe in 1992.
Dr Joshua Banks, speaking from the Wide Sands Observatory in Utah says that their recent equations suggest that instead of the programme continuing unabated, their theorem shows that Patrick Moore was let go, lost some weight, had corrective eye-surgery and had a highly successful run as Dr Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror Show on Broadway. Banks’ understanding of the time-space continuum states that Moore is now a happily retired bachelor, who lives in Malibu with two pug-puppies called Andromeda and Orion.
When contacted by the press yesterday the ‘2011’ version of Moore was glad to confirm that he had read the research from Utah and agreed with most of its fundamental premises. However, he did comment to reporters than experimental physicts would have to prove their ideas in some tangible manner. Therefore, it was certain that scientists would have to insert the performer John Culshaw into the Hadron Collider whilst doing his thread-bare impression of Moore. Moore also said that one part of the theorem was also a puzzle and is likely to create controversy - in the Utah observed universe, the soap opera El Dorado is about to celebrate its twentieth anniversary.