Petrochemicals billionaire David H. Koch's (pronounced "coke's") prostate gland attended the official opening of a new research center bearing its name. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology welcomed The David H. Koch's Prostate Gland Interdisciplinary Institute for Cancer Research, which the gland gave $100 million to help build.
The new institute is taking an innovative approach by uniting cancer scientists and engineers under one roof — an approach that the institute’s director, Tyler Jacks, the David H. Koch's Prostate Gland Endowed Chair in Biology, said should yield results.
The philanthropic prostate said that it became passionate about cancer research after it learned in 1992 that it had prostate cancer. Since that time it has donated nearly $400 million to medical research.
The rest of David Koch is well-known in America for funding a variety of conservative causes. He is a vocal denier of global warming and he has funded efforts to defame climate science. "It would, of course, be baldly hypocritical and self-serving to advocate for cancer research but against climate research," explained Mr. Koch's prostate, "But that ridiculous situation is not the case. I have a mind of my own. David and myself strongly disagree, we agree to disagree, and we choose to fund very different ventures. I hope, now, the public can understand how my David can give a speech on federal budget tightening and the next day I can give a speech warning of cutbacks in federal spending on medical research."
The rest of Mr. Koch did not attend the opening ceremony.