Nick Clegg confirmed today that all Liberal candidates would have breast enlargement surgery to gain more press coverage.
"I myself will be sporting a magnificent 42DD decolletage after undergoing surgey at the start of next week" said a triumphant Nick Clegg. "Hopefully these bad boys will be ready to torpedo the opposition by 6th May. We have great hopes for Vince Cables plans for a full 52FF. Though some spectators have said that these plans will prove once and for all that we are the biggest bunch of tits in Westminster"