A tightlipped, emotional Man City player outed himself today, admitting he had an overweight girlfriend. Whilst such Premier League luminaries as Wayne Rooney and Peter Crouch sport top-notch totty WAG's despite their physical imperfections, the disgrace attached to Kolo Toure's admission that he took his girlfreind's diet pill can barely be imagined. Amongst the dressing room taunts and jibes it is hard to conceive a more crushing blow landing than 'Oi...your missus...she is well fat, innit'.
Why he didn't stage a cover-up involving rent boys and amyl nitrate to spare his blushes we'll never know.