“It’s pathetic”, said Lord Coe, addressing a roomful of young sporting hopefuls. “British athletes can’t even take drugs properly. Performance enhancing drugs are meant to give athletes an unfair advantage over their competitors. That’s the whole sodding point! But whenever a British athlete fails a routine drug test, in the 1,500 metres, likely as not he’s trailed in second to last to some fucking Lithuanian.
“Wake up, people! We only have a few months left to sort this out. These drug-testing failures are sending out all the wrong signals to our young athletes, ahead of next year’s Olympics. Remember, if you decide to compete drug-assisted - and I sincerely hope you will - for God’s sake do it right”...