The French Minister for Underwater Development, M. Jean-Jacques Cousteau, today invited tenders for quotations for an impressive extension to the Channel Tunnel network.
"We are planning branch lines to Le Havre, Cherbourg, St. Malo annd the Scilly Isles", he announced. "The English Channel is well known as the busiest waterway in the world, and with the prospect of massive oil tankers from the Southern Atlantic looming on the horizon, the cross channel ferries are too much of a hazard to be allowed to operate beyond 2015."
While the City of London is licking its lips at the prospect of the shares issues, loans and interest income likely to be generated by this project, The British Government is believed to be dragging its anchor over this development, given that the credit crunch has already put possible skids under more pressing expenditure, such as the refurbishment of Trident.
The go-ahead President of the Isle of Wight Chamber of Commerce, Nick Le-Jacque'pot is quoted as "all in favour. We are ideally placed to provide a major interchange for all destinations along the south coast - a sort of underwater Spaghetti Junction", he said yesterday. "As global warming takes effect and England becomes a more Mediterranean climate, the opportunities for tourism are boundless. For too long we have been regarded as a backwater; this is our first major opportunity since Sir Christopher What's-his-name invented the hovercraft, and we intend to grasp it with both hands."