Chaos and scandal have once again reared their ugly heads in the world of fried chicken, after it was announced that Julian Assange was on the verge of leaking the famously secret KFC Original Recipe to the highest bidder.
The recipe itself, the world’s 2nd best kept secret after the identity of the Stig, was thought to be safe forever amid claims that only two people in the world knew one half of the ingredients each.
However, the reality of the recipe’s whereabouts is far less romantic. One half of the recipe, held by Colonel Sanders himself, was handed over to Aaron Barnaby, a former customer, as part of an out of court settlement in 1992. Aaron suffered permanent blindness and lost the use of his feet after attempting to eat his weight in hot wings at a charity event in North Carolina. The recipe was then published in his local parish newsletter after the trial.
The second half of the recipe was found by the Dutch soldiers during a military cave-searching exercise in Afghanistan in 2008, written on a post–it note, stuck to a cave wall. It is believed that Assange’s brother Jertzy, a general in the Dutch Army at the time, surrendered the post-it after a particularly severe Chinese burn.
Assange last night posted a chilling comment on friedchicken.net, simply saying:
“I have the Colonel’s recipe. Let the war being. Mwuhahahahaaaa. Lol”.
So far he has only had bids from independent fried chicken outlets ‘Real PFC’ and ‘Chicken Cottage’, but it’s believed that rivals ‘Dixy Fried Chicken’ and ‘Favourite Chicken and Ribs’ are waiting in the wings…..