The government today defended its plans to force TV channels to broadcast every evening and for no fee adverts for their flagship Big Society initiative, in what Prime Minister David Cameron has dubbed “The Community Minute”.
“People have complained that this is Soviet-style state propaganda but nothing could be further from the truth,” insisted Daniel Charrington, spokesman for the Department for Communities and Local Government or ‘DepCom’ as it increasingly known. “These adverts are simply a way of making sure that all members of the community are aware of the tremendously exciting changes taking place and their role in them.”
Changes include the controversial rebranding of Great Britain and Northern Ireland as Airstrip One. “Airstrip One is a modern cohesive name that does away with all the old divisive and historical associations that citizens have with the Great Britain identity,” said Charrington. “Similarly the day now has an extra hour as befits a hard working and dynamic society pulling together for the common good. And whose spirits have not been lifted on a wet afternoon once they’ve heard the clocks strike thirteen?”
Asked if the new emphasis on daily toil for little if any personal reward would lead to people becoming depressed Charrington was quick to note that the introduction of a compulsory daily exercise regime would increase morale as does the lottery. “Oh we’re never getting rid of the good old NatLot,’ he said. “The proles simply love it.”
Allegations that further efforts to lift the nation’s spirits include the free distribution of WKD and the X-Factor being broadcast three hundred and sixty-five days a year were dismissed.
Can't think of a better way to end this. Instead of the free distribution of WKD, which is weak, thought about the public execution of someone or someones but couldn't think who would be real crowd pleasers. Anyone got any suggestions on how to punch up the last paragraph?