After years of not being rewarded for his tireless efforts at product placement, Chester-based actuary Marcus Webb has finally submitted invoices totalling £4.3million to several international conglomerates.
“I realised that they have basically been using me as a promotional tool”, he said in an interview yesterday. “The Ford Focus I drive – product placement! Millions of people must have seen that car – it was on the popular roads M56 and M6 for much of 2008.”
“And that’s not all,” he continued. “My office have enjoyed seeing me eating a bag of Walker's Quavers at 12.33 every working day since 1999. At £3.78 per appearance, I reckon Walkers owe me more than £10,000.”
But its Mr Webb’s harking on about his constantly-improving suite of consumer electronics and hand-held gadgets that is set to earn him the major part of his claim, although this could have unintended consequences.
A lawyer for Steve Jobs has estimated that if every consumer of Apple i-tems switches status from ‘user’ to ‘product placement promoter’, the company will be out-of-pocket to the tune of the aggregate GDP of the entire planet, resulting in an economic explosion, complete meltdown of the entire world economy and a return to the abacus.