Thousands of butch heterosexual fanny magnets masquerading as satirists are kicking themselves today after failing to take part in a competition set by two internationally acclaimed sportsmen.
Satirists from Lands End to John O’Groats failed en masse to show up at the event which was billed by the pair as a celebration of all that is good about British humour.
With the closing time for entries just a few minutes away, every single satirist in the UK who has a ‘gay gag’ in their repertoire has so far spurned the opportunity offered by the two dandy sportsmen - Gareth Thomas and Steven Davies - to crack their latest fag-pun face to face.
The two sportsmen, who have been the subject of an hilarious satirically inspired joke-fest in recent days, had been so impressed by the standard of joke levelled against them that they decided to award a cash prize for the most rib-tickling one liner the satirists could conjure up.
But despite waiting ‘in’ (shouldn’t that be out) all day for the satirists to show up with their ripping one-liners, it seems not a single joker was brave enough to accept the challenge set by the pair. The venue for the festival, which was being held at the end of a dimly lit alley well away from prying eyes or witnesses – came in for criticism from satirists who insisted there was no way they would crack a gay joke to Thomas under such conditions – even if they did have their backs to the wall. And absolutely no question, they would have definitely had their backs to the wall.
‘It’s such a shame’ said Thomas ‘we were both hard at it all night preparing for this special day. Cheeky, no not like that you saucy mare....honestly, satirists...what are you like.
And now it’s all gone a little flat....those satirists don’t know what they’ve missed out on. I’d just got my Glasgow Kiss simmering nicely and Shaun’s Baked Alaska is to die for. We were so looking forward to delivering a few punch lines and cracking a few ribs of our own, but it wasn’t to be.
Maybe another day, where did you say they lived’?
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Under 5s tell satirists to find their own playground to play in
(6 posts) (4 voices)
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Gerontius
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
Oxbridge
offlineMemberNot one of mine, Gerontius, I don't really do tags very much. Thanks for the reminder, though, some of my harem are very particular about me washing Oxy Junior before I put him in their boxes. Quite right too, they don't know where he's been.
Back to the serious bit. If you remember, I've quite frequently had a go at cowardly trolls who do, having been on the receiving end of the treatment myself in the past. I'd guess it was Saltire but I don't know, since this is all anonymous, hence the problem. Someone apparently thinks it was Rikkor, but unless he gets up at 6 in the morning to log on, it sounds unlikely.
There has, while I'm on, been a bit of humour about this subject here and elsewhere, including a contribution to a thread from me, but it's all been completely sympathetic to Steven Davies. If you're implying that I'm anti-gay, though, you are just plain wrong. In fact, I'm working on something right now...
4* by the way.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Gerontius
offlineMembersorry Oxy - I had assumed it was one of yours, that's me trying to be clever
actually, I needed it to be one of yours so that my devious and wicked pun worked (what with you being a wicketkeeper and all)...it's gone a little flacid now.
apologies for jumping the gun
We've both been on the receiving end in the past (pardon my expression) wouldn't think it was either Salty or Rikkor. I'm sure if they had something significant to say they wouldn't hesitate to give it both barrels
it's still a good pun thoughPosted 2 years ago #
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