In an unprecedented move guaranteed to cause outcry and outrage in Soccer circles, so called ‘Premier Prima Donnas’ voted to accept self imposed swingeing cuts in their own salaries.
A spokesman for the PFU explained: ‘For far too long our members have realised that weekly wages of £50,000, £100,000 or even in excess bore no relation to the effort and skill required to turn out once, or possibly twice a week from Autumn to late Spring to have a kick around with, what elder commentators described, as ‘the old pig’s bladder’.
Our members – or The Brothers as they prefer to be called - realised that the game had been massively overhyped by ex professional players turned pundits, analysts, commentators as well as those grown rich in seemingly direct disproportion to their knowledge of the ‘Beautiful Game’.
Accordingly The Brothers – as they now wish to be called –have decided that they should earn no more than the average working wage in their region. Obviously this may cause a north –south divide but our members are confident that annual wages can be maintained within the range of £30,000-£50,000 - the equivalent of £600-£1,000 a week.
Kicking a ball around in the name of ‘Entertainment’ and generally failing to perform on all levels for far too long has weighed heavily on The Brothers’ conscience who have agreed to stamp out diving, histrionics, death throe overreaction from tackles, and lack of concentration resulting in misplaced passes and a general desultory lack of effort and overhyped skill.
Transfer fees, it has been agreed, will be capped at five times annual salaries which will result in lower ticket, programme and hotdog prices as well as an end to overpaid and underperforming agents. Managers’ salaries will of course follow suit as, once players salaries and transfer fees are reduced there can be no justification for anyone involved in the game being able to earn more than the average wage.
The Beautiful Game will return to its working class roots and entertain those true supporters who have for far too long had to scrimp and save to see what passed for Entertainment, due to the greed of The Brothers and those who have, for too long, lived off the Fat of the Game.
The Brothers have spoken.’
Soccer Salaries Slashed
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In an unprecedented move guaranteed to cause outcry and outrage in Soccer circles, so called ‘Premier Prima Donnas’ voted to accept self imposed swingeing cuts in their own salaries.Posted 4 years ago #
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