9.5 out of 10 feminist poster-girl Andrea Higgins claimed last night that "sexism has now been entirely eliminated from public life". In her keynote speech to the National Feminist League, her massive boobs swinging pendulously inside her blouse, the curvaceous 34 year old proclaimed the start of a new era “beyond the glass ceiling”.
Wearing a tight fitting pastel coloured sweater over a figure hugging pencil skirt which emphasised her fine ass, she spoke of her long battle to stand out for something other than her jaw-dropping good looks and 'chase-me, chase-me' smile. “Sure, I could have been a model or an actress, but I took the hard road up and joined the Feminist League” she annunciated through her voluptuous lips. “I didn't want to be famous for my magnificent thighs or my impeccably symmetrical features – I wanted to be famous for empowering the sisterhood!”
The audience, who were conspicuously less attractive than the speaker, applauded their helms-woman enthusiastically, rolling up the sleeves of their oversized knitted cardigans and stamping their flat shoes on the floor while their flabby ankles jiggled up and down.