The govt. has agreed to proceed with a bill proposing that Scotland, along with East Anglia and Cornwall will introduce a permanently recognised dual time zone. Whilst the rest of the UK will continue to live in 2011 and beyond, designated parts of the country will be shifted back to the early 1970’s.
“The cost of implementing the dual zone are almost non existent” said George McFly of the time zone think tank. “The geographical areas that we have identified are currently enjoying the standard of living reminiscent of that time anyway – our research has shown that people in these communities have not embraced the majority of developments since then and therefore would be happier to continue in this time zone.”
Increased daylight hours is a strong argument for the dual time zone, road safety being a large factor, with less traffic on the roads in the 70’s and longer, sunnier days like the summer of 1976 meaning that there will be fewer accidents. The prevalence of public information films will also heighten the safety record meaning less accidents caused by frisbee collections from electricity pylons or diving into shallow waters.
The savings that can be made for the treasury are substantial – a significant proportion of the UK could have NHS funding cut to a level where expensive modern equipment is simply not necessary. Sound advice such as ‘Ignore it and it will go away’ will once again become the prevalent message for all patients, saving millions of pounds.
Residents of the areas in question were thrilled – Mr Jim McDonald of Kings Lynn said “I can’t wait for the calendar to go back, not only do we gain an extra bit of sleep, but the TV was much better in the seventies, I haven’t seen Kenny Everett or the Goodies for years.” UK residents of the second time zone can also look forward to a Wimbledon champion in the next few years, and many are looking forward to Christmas when they can hear Slade for the first time again.
The change, if successful, will pave the way for a potential Triple Time Zone in which the Isle of Wight is officially recognised in it’s pre war zone – exactly which war this is will be decided at a later date.