Following the news that Cornish pasties have been awarded Protected Geographical Indication status, meaning they can only be made in Cornwall, KFC has won special status too. From today, only chickens battery-farmed in the state of Kentucky can rightfully be called Kentucky Fried Chicken.
To qualify, birds must be incarcerated in cages so small that they can’t even turn round, in Kentucky. They must be force-fed the remains of other chickens, mixed with shit. In Kentucky. Those that haven’t already pecked themselves to death must suffer the final indignity of being hung by their feet on a moving production line, as they end their short, sorry lives in some hell-hole of a slaughterhouse. In Torment (that's a small town in rural Kentucky).
Birds that have been brutalised elsewhere must forego the KFC logo, the smiling visage of a phoney Southern Colonel and the proud ‘raised by racists’ appelation, and must now go by the more generic name of ‘Southern Fried Chicken‘ or, more accurately, ‘pet food’...
