Crowds cheered as the ribbon was cut in East London today to mark the official opening of the 2012 Olympic velodrome. However the gathered dozens were soon left disenchant to discover that the velodrome is a curved track for people to ride bicycles as fast as they can on.
The angry mob had no united view as to what they believed a velodrome was actually for, although a large majority did express the opinion that it involved futuristic men and women roller-blading and some sort of ultra-violence.
There was some disturbances between a small number of the dejected crowd dressed as dinosaurs and a gang of street-quidditch players with later reports that one man had chained himself to the railing refusing to move until the organising committee revealed were the topless female boxers would be competing.
The organisers downplayed the confusion and instead wanted to highlight the benefits that the velodrome would bring to the area; "We've checked and cycling is definitely a sport so it should inspire people I guess." although the did reveal that "in the first 24 hours of opening we've only lost two cyclists after a lorry accidentally turned left onto the track running them over, but many more survived"